Reframing starts with the difference between “I have to” and “I get to.” If you’ve ever met a person with an “I get to” attitude you will remember them. You will remember them not just for what they do but for how they make you feel. One of my favourite check-out technicians at the Marine Drive Super Store in Vancouver gets it. Her attitude and joy is infectious. She greets every weary customer and makes the checkout experience fun or funny. She makes a difference in the stupor that so easily takes over the heart from the madness of grocery shopping.
“Get to” and “have to” — its a difference of attitude. You may be reluctant to tackle it, but as soon as you hear yourself saying, “I have to” its time for an attitude check. For some odd reason we all have moments when we love being in a crappy mood. In moments like that we are taking strange solace in treating ourselves as objects cast about on the sea of life. Fate has beset us and we live as if we are subject only to the constraints and hardships of our responsibilities. Like all emotional postures the “I have to” attitude can become dreadfully habitual.
It’s a terrible way to live! However, I’ve discovered a little shift in attitude can start the difference in my happiness, my relational trajectory, and the fruit of my labours.
It seems like the grind of routine can easily take over my life. That’s when I find myself muttering…
I have to…
- get up.
- go to work. (Perhaps your story right now is different: I have to go to school.)
- take this test.
- make a lunch.
- clean up and wash these dishes.
But I keep reminding myself, a shift is available to me!
I get to…
- experience a new day. Its a gift!
- make a difference in someone’s life.
- grow through an artificial or a real-life challenge.
- create order out of the chaos – at least for the moment.
“I get to” is built on hope and purpose. The internal shift in language to “I get to” brings about an external shift in how we approach the work and treat the people who are with us now. Reframing starts with “I get to.”
Author, David Sturt, explores the power of reframing work in the book, “Great Work: How to make a difference people love.” Great work exceeds expectations and makes a difference people love. It can happen in any domain of life, but truly great work shares something in common; it begins with the internal mindset of the person doing the work.
As you will see, an “I get to” approach refuses to settle for a pragmatic definition of ourselves or our work. For example when another Sunday rolls around I could wake up muttering, “I have to go deliver another talk today.” (If you didn’t know, I pastor a church in the UBC campus community.) Or I could wake up declaring, “Wow! Today I get to go connect with some amazing people and explore what matters most in life!” Are you starting to get the picture? You can reframe your own life and work.
Sturt’s book is a quick read with helpful and inspiring stories. Below are two videos exploring his ideas. The first video tells the story of Moses and the extraordinary difference he makes in the lives of children and families. And then the second is from David Sturt, the author, laying out his organization’s research and findings.