Lament for Refuge

You have searched me, LORD and you know me.

My life of aspiration
Was bought in sweat and deception
For my ancestors came from the wrong nation
And were treated with contempt and degradation.

You created my inmost being and knit me together in my mother’s womb.

In every space I have tried not to die
’till a friend said, “Go West young man,
They love the truth.” So I have arrived to find
The truth is not enough — they would rather hear a lie.

Search me, God, and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts.

Peace eludes me.
I don’t have a way.
Truth enslaves me.
I don’t want to hide.

See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

I love life.

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